abejas

i am in culiacan, capital of sinaloa...home of the sinaloa cartel, heaps sketchy you might say, and i want out. it doesn't seem too bad but people are giving me weird looks and i am not too happy here. so i'm walking down this strip of mechanic shops (llanteras!) when i hear someone ask if i want a ride. i look over, and the car is full of shit. like, full of bottles, tools, cans, pieces of broken metal...and a bee keeping suit full of fucking bees...so of course i take the ride! the man gives me a fantastic toothless grin and moves the bees out of the way and i sit down. do you like to fuck black chicks? asks the man. yes, of course! i say. do you like to fuck white chicks? asks the man. of course. do you even fuck...chinee chicks? all of them i say. the conversation goes like this for a while and i am trying to divert the topic to why he has a ton of bees in the car and he doesn't understand what i am saying...

eventually the car starts stalling up a hill. it starts and stops. starts and stops. starts and stops. the bees are getting rocked back and forth and it's making them angry. some find a way out of the suit and into the car. i point to the bees and yell what the fuck hermano!!! and the man turns around and says "oh! the abejas! i get 300 dollars for them!". the car keeps on starting and stopping until it finally just stops. i, only slightly covered in bees, get out and yell MUCHO GUSTO!! ADIOS!! but hey. at least i got out of culiacan.